As I do my work the question that always comes up is, What happened? Thus begins the stories of how each person experienced the event. Each person will have their own perception, which they see as the truth and present them as facts. As each person gives their truth about the event little bridges will connect and the reality of the event will come out.
For sometime the world was hooked on Truth and Reconciliation commissions so that societies can deal with the reality of violent conflict. These process are not about setting blame on anyone but more to clear the air so that future generations will know the closest possible reality of how and why society ripped itself apart. These questions will ultimately land on answers that point to a division in perception, truth and fact.
Now if you care to delve into the person I am you will understand that I see the complexity of simplicity. In that I believe all wars start with poor communication, very simple. Then the ball of hatred begins and builds into a rat nest of distorted perception, hell bent on revenge. That festering hatred will grow and once the killing starts society is quickly spun into chaos, just look at the idiocy we have to endure daily with Isreal and Palestine. A classic situation of "well thousands of years ago your brother pissed on my families goat". That (fictional) simple act continued to the point where helicopters fire missiles into communities, suicide bombers walk onto busses. The history of 1967, 1947, all the way back to Moses is brought into why killing another is justified.
These firmly held truths of past events fuel a great many conflicts. Even in our own personal lives, in marriages, friendships and places of work. The best method I have found to deal with such frustrations when you are pissed off at the actions of others is to step away and think. Often I say this phrase:
No matter what happened, I must believe that everyone is choosing the best possible option they see to ensure a peaceful society.
That was the best option they could see and choose. Each time that thought process is taken, the shock of how complex life can get astounds me. What set of circumstances evolved for that action to the best possible choice, what emotions were played upon and then I feel the dark spiral of hatred that spins. At the bottom of that spiral there is always the question, How did that get so out of control so fast?
Thus begins the truth and reconciliation process to seek out truth, fact, reality and perception.