There is no doubt I have and will act in ways I will
immediately regret. Sometimes emotions get the better of me as they do for
others. However, this understanding is not a course of excusing regrettable moments.
This is an understanding that such moments need to be stopped or at least
limited.
As I have said many times peace is not easy. We have to
understand the minds of everyone, even the insane. That emboldens the peaceful
to actually delve into the world of insanity and have the wherewithal to pull
back into the world of sanity. How else can you understand war or even go
through years of such terror and come out in some semblance of good mental
health?
The case in point is the recent COVID experience. The world
was presented with a deadly virus that spread rapidly. Each of us had to work
our way through a large unknown. As we gathered information and strategies, we
could see a way through. Sadly we had to deal with those who have and will die.
That experience of death on its own is enough some to go into a tail spin. To
be a peaceful person, there is a need to have a strong will to make sense out
of this non-sensical time.
People are impatient, frustrated, out of options, alone,
scared, tired, and need respite. In their search for peace they will find only
more work and responsibility. This will crush some who then lash out or shut
down. Both of these options are equal in their impact to the individual and
society.
For those that do not evolve into the lash out/shut down
coping mechanisms, they are the ones that have the open arms, big shoulders to
cry upon, a warm smile, the extra cup of tea, the ear to bend and/or has the patience
to provide space so others can shut down/lash out.
That is exactly why peace is not easy. It is having the
fists of those who lash out come down around you. As you take those hits you
only feel the utter lack of options those fist represent. It is seeing a person
who has shut down and providing the open arms when you just had the fists of
the other come down on you. It is not
pity that a peaceful person has, it is understanding how such a situation is to
the mind of the individual.
I have been the one to throw the fists of anger on too many
occasions and have shut down as well. Those moments will forever bring pain and
remorse, mostly due to the fact that I know it can and might happen again.
Being in that place of insanity is my order of terror.
