Difficult questions.

 

While discussing issues during a meeting I was asked where I stand on abortion. I was directed to give a for or against answer. I would not answer unless given sometime to explain first. Here is my answer.

Every time the Canadian Armed Forces, police, a doctor, paramedic, firefighter or healthcare provider has to make a decision that causes another persons death, as a member of a democratic society – I take that personally. I am hurt and feel great sorrow that such decisions have to be made. I also wish that such decisions would never have to be made. However, we live in a world that is not perfect.

In light of all that, I wish I would never have to be in favour of causing the death of anyone, for any reason. Sadly, such decisions are made everyday whether I like it or not and I regret every single time a person is harmed and/or dies from a decision made on my behalf by our government.

I would love to live in a world where weapons were not carried by police or have the need for an armed military. Every single death is one too many. If you are comfortable with the death caused by our military, police and etc…, yet bark about abortion – hypocrisy is where you sit.

I am against every other harmful act being levied against anyone else for any reason.

Community Peacebuilding

 

War is like a dog chasing its tail. Once the dog gets a solid grab, reality and shock takes hold. When a person starts or is lead down a path of criminality, the sustainability of society slowly erodes. As that one person begins to erode, there are victims and communities that will be impacted. Both the individual and the society will need supports to repair, improve, and sustain peace. That process towards a peaceful path will require a great deal of effort from everyone.

The efforts made at the right time are the same efforts made when everything is off the rails. The amount of work expands with the damage done. These efforts are education, communication, conflict management, mindfulness, stress management, and many other areas of concern. On that list of concerns will be the individual.

At some point the reality that some individuals are going to be left behind has to be understood. The choice is up to the individuals to make. The impact of guilt/sorrow felt by others for not being able to help those left behind will carry on for many years. This guilt is a pathway to improving societies.

Taking the feelings of wanting to do more, the ability to do more and the capacity to do more will take time to align. Mostly the time is spent to ensure we have the capacity to actually succeed with the changes we make. For example, there are programs for assisting homeless people called “Housing First”.

The “Housing First” program assesses a homeless person to determine what supports they need before they are given an apartment. Taking the information from the assessment process, once the person is in an apartment, support people come in to help with the day to day challenges. To engage in this program every one will need to employ a great amount of patience.

There will be set backs, failures, extreme challenges and in some cases physical violence. Taking the “Housing First” example we can apply the mindset to other parts of society such as law, politics, education, etc….  We can even apply it to building peaceful communities.

The idea of building peaceful communities starts with local ownership – those who live in any neighbourhood will have a strong say in what will take place in that neighbourhood. At some level there will be political representation of that neighbourhood that will have to be engaged and the people that live in the community must be very active in the maintenance of the peace. There will be moments of give and take as each community will have to work with all other communities to build the larger society.

Such things have to be understood as where sewage treatment facilities are placed, roads, hospitals, schools, parks and many other points that come along with societies. Not all neighbourhoods will function as well as others and some may not even function peacefully at all.

The point being is that when the dog finally catches its tail, all hell can break loose or the whirlwind just stops for a while. You can never really know what will happen until it does.

What is the right path?

 

“When I do not want to do something that I know needs to get done, that is when I need strength and courage to stay focused and get that done”.

In a peaceful world, that statement has a great deal of realism within it. For example, being kind to your enemy, more so when you are your own enemy. Being kind is knowing when you are about to give in to destructive behaviour and then stopping yourself.

Each day is an opportunity to understand more about how you function. Knowing more about the cues you give yourself is important. This knowledge will give you time to plan and make decisions to act upon. First off you need to know that this will not always be easy. There will be times when the actions that need to take place seems to be the most difficult path to take.

“There is no way I am going to talk to that person. There is no way I am going to that meeting. There is no way I am going to change my mind about this”. Each of these are points where the opposite course of action is often the path that is the path of kindness to yourself. This is where the popular phrase of “live without fear” is most needed.

In those moments where such statements are made, I do not want to seem weak so I stand my ground. However, in all reality, I am being weak by not talking, not doing something and.or not looking at things with another perspective. If I was being fearless, I would not care about how I am going to be looked upon by myself or by others.

There was this boy who was shown the truth of life. At the moment he was allowed to see the beauty of life, a great calm was cast around him. This moment had sparked the need to seek peace. As time passed and that moment faded into history, the boy lost his connection with the understanding that was given to him during the moment of great calm. What did stay was the question of how the world would become peaceful.

As years passed and knowledge gained, the boy wandered further from the path he was to take. Money, material, admirations and other things filled the mind in place of the real path. Of course with time, the boy who was now a young adult became lost without even knowing that he was lost. Although he was lost, there were many goals that brought wealth, friendship, excitement and what is seen as the good life. Sadly this was only masking the truth of reality.

Even though the boy who is now a man would appear to have everything, deep within rests the understanding of the boy that was crying out. Underneath all the appearance rests the truth. The man is not at ease, the pain of a lost life burns hot. The pain is great as the man is too ashamed, to much of a coward, too fixated on the perception of how difficult it would be, to get back to what he knows is the path he needs to be on. The man is afraid, tired and ashamed of whohe was, is and the may options of who he can become.

What non-violence means to me.

Non-violence goes to the heart of intent. For me, non-violence is a balance of do no harm and positive supports towards a peaceful reality. Within the totality of life, there are going to be fluctuations that take place. We have the factors of insanity, accidents and other uncontrollables which slams into us. Like hitting your fingers with a hammer as you build something, stuff just happens. It is the intent that is crucial in a non-violent reality. This intent must be honest, understood and trusted. The intent has to be peaceful.  

Since we are alive, there is a wide spectrum of what each of us will describe as non-violent. For some, zoos are violent, cancer is violent, prisons are violent, smacking a mosquito is violent, spraying your lawn or gardens with pesticides is violent. Due to the fact that we have this spectrum we need to resolve these differences – conflict resolution.

What is weird is that almost everyone will proclaim that they want peace, how we get to that reality is a source of violence/conflict. This means we must communicate in some manner, usually talking. At this point we have a simple question, would you rather work with a person you know to be violent or a person who is known to be non-violent? Most of us would go for the non-violent person and this is why it is very important to be known/trusted as a non-violent person. In the work of peace, the people that are violent are most in need of someone who is willing and able to go through the possibility of being harmed.

Each day, we are trying to make positive steps towards the reality of peace in our own lives as well as our homes, communities and the world. To do this we have to realize that most of us would rather work with someone who is non-violent. It just makes life that much easier, it is that simple.

Here in Canada we have to resolve and transform many relationships. There is systemic racism, systemic violence, environmental challenges, over consumption challenges, health challenges, crime challenges, and many other challenges. None of these will be fairly or satisfactorily be resolved if someone tries to win out over another. That is a violent reality. Being fair, honest and a true partner in peace is what we need. 

My personal peace

 Right of the top everyone should know that I am quite an intense person. Some people describe me as a heavy personality to have around. I strive to understand the world in as much depth as I can handle. My most difficult task is asking for help and taking the hand that is offered when I falter. This takes me to some very dark places and as difficult as it maybe for some of you to listen to this, taking my own life is a common thought. Although this may sound to be a terrible thing, I am grateful that I can experience the emotions of such a situation. It helps me understand the depths of despair. It helps me to understand the feelings of having no hope, no reason, no other way through, being alone, the feeling of not wanting to burden others with my shit, feeling that the world is better off with me gone. Now you may wonder what puts me back on balance, or what pulls me from the edge?

For me, this may sound crazy but the fact that I am willing and able to walk that path is a challenge I give myself. Each time I go down this path, I run into myself at five years old. I look that little guy in the face and he tells me to smile, go play outside, climb a tree, roll down a hill, explore, throw a ball around, shoot pucks or other such stuff. Then he thanks me for checking in with him and having the courage to continue on. We are usually sitting on the shore of a huge lake or the ocean. We skip some rocks together sometimes and slowly that fades away as my eyes open.

After that I take a deep breath and go play. Each day is a step, I am not interested in winning the race or even finishing the race, I am interested in doing my best with each step.

Causing Peace

 Working to rebuild myself as well as society and assist other people is the focus of peace for me. I sought out the most difficult tasks, the areas that everyone would rather not bother with. This area is filled with what most societies would say are the arseholes of the world. The criminals, the violent offenders, the people that are seen as unwanted. In most areas of where I worked in North Africa and the Middle East, the child soldier is one such example of the unwanted. Here in Canada, I have focused on youth who are either coming out of jails or are on a course to possibly be in jail. In all of this I have had to battle my own downward spirals into the pit of hell.

 Building peace is an exercise in sustainability. When a person starts or is lead down a path of criminality, the sustainability of society slowly erodes. As that one person begins to erode, there are victims and communities that will be impacted. Each will need supports to repair/sustain peace. To get back to the peaceful path there will need to be a great deal of work done. This is very much using the cliché “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” or “a stitch in time will save nine”.

The efforts made at the right time are the same efforts made when everything is off the rails. The amount of work expands with the damage down. These efforts are education, communication, conflict management, mindfulness, stress management, and many other areas of concern. The work is never ending and ever expanding. This expanding model is why each of us will most likely never understand the complete impact we have on the world. What is important to understand is that each moment we have a choice to make a peaceful impact or a harmful one.

With the child soldier or youth gang member, there is often little choice as they are faced with a violent consequence. For children, the choice to not be abused will be an easy choice. Then they are mentally conditioned to become the feared. This reliance on fear to gain self worth begins to fester and society erodes. This chain of events is the difficult task that needs to be halted.

It is easy to look to the adults who educated the youth into becoming the feared. It s harder to look at the society in which the child was raised because that is a systemic problem. What is even harder is for those who live in such areas to look at themselves. There is no greater fact than it takes a community to raise a child – everyone in that community has a responsibility.

There is no – “well it is not my problem” or “I got what I want so who cares about everyone else” or, “I deserve it just as much as anyone else” or, “I am entitled to so I am taking it”. These are words that start people down a path of causing harm, the slippery slope. However, the complex nature of communities will not be an easy task to change. It often feels like smashing your face against brick walls is a better choice and more productive.

Solutions

These are not easy but they are necessary. Peace is about building a caring society.

Be brave to say and act peacefully.

Explore the emotions which anger you. Seek to understand the feeling of the opposition, seek to truly experience what it feels like to be the one who destroys a community. Feel the isolation of hatred, mistrust, antagonism, the shit disturber, the person who always has to be right and the one that continually screws up.

Be patient with yourself and others. We know that we can not slap sense into people. If that worked, war would have solved every problem we have thousands of years ago. Also it has come to the point where common sense is not longer sensical.

Give peace to those you despise. For those that take and take and take, when you stop and give yourself the space to sense such a life, you will understand the pain of worthlessness to have to live such a life. Realize that giving includes a kind word, an ear to bend or a meaningful pat on the back.

Take care of yourself. This one will give you energy when you feel that enough has been given. Find avenues to vent frustrations peacefully. Find a sparring partner. Find a space where you can be comfortable and peacefully go overboard sometimes – blow off steam.

This world is a magical place, there is more to it than most people ever have the courage to explore. The crazy thing is that the exploration is one of the mind, not the physical. Be brave and explore the paths of peace. There are many children who are going to need you at some point. The world depends upon you to be peaceful. We already know what causing harm does, lets see what happens when we put a greater effort into causing peace than we do harm.

Peace is a choice.

 

When an artist creates something, they have their own point of view. Anyone that looks upon that creation can have a different interpretation of that creation. Such is what I have done with Samuel Huntington’s book The Clash of Civilizations. The source of conflict is certainly the clash of different paths, however the clash begins in the mind of the individual. The conflict is not about the differences of civilizations, the conflict is the differences of choice each of us make every day and what being free really is.

Often we confuse choice with freedom due to how we see and understand the world. How we see the world is slowly developed each day. With each day the lens of understanding becomes narrower. As our understanding narrows, our choices also narrow. How we live and plan for the future is also impacted even though we still cling to the idea that we are acting freely. For example, the lens of how to build a peaceful society is the same lens used to build criminal organizations. The difference is the focus, intent, choices, and goals we choose to make.

At this point, we must think about the reality of freedom and ask if a child who is taught to be racist was free to choose such a path? Going along the same idea that each person born will only be racist if they are taught to be so, the need for education is clearly understood. Furthermore, the need to understand that a child is going to be moulded by the information provided. Taking a step back, the adult who decides what information is going to be provided begins the process of the conflict within the mind. Thus the clash of civilization begins in the mind of the individual.

This is why we must focus on peace, how to be peaceful, how to maintain inner personal peace. From there we need to bring these tools to the children and support them in all the efforts that encompass building a peaceful society.

The process of peace

 Building a peaceful society is a responsibility that each of us must take with great sincerity. A peaceful society can only exist when the importance of process takes root in each of our minds. As each of us go about our lives we will have to work with other individuals. With each encounter we build, shape and create that world. With each encounter we choose the direction of that reality. What is often lost is that the encounters are rarely face to face. Our actions are witnessed by everyone around us. This is the reality of building a peaceful society.

It is a rare moment when peace suddenly arrives like the strike of a bell tolling. There are usually many steps taken in slow progression. There are moments where frustrations, anger, heart break, loss and other painful experiences will have to be dealt with. Each of us will need structures in place to help ensure each of these experiences are handled in a peaceful manner. Each of us will have to work/grow into processes which bring peace into our minds.

Each of us are living a reality that no other person has or will ever live again. This is why each of us must find their own peace – with the help of everyone else. Even though the processes are similar in the large scale of thought, as each of us works through their own processes, they will find a combination of methods that works for them.

There are a great many methods being used to help people in their process of peace. Going to the gym, music, prayer, yoga, climbing mountains, reading, solving puzzles, painting, building houses, cooking, writing, healing others, math, walking, singing, sculpting, making others laugh, teaching and the list goes on for a very long time. For each of us, the combination will be different than most others. The commonality is that a trust of security in each other will be built.

With each step we take, we are to ensure that everyone around us can depend and trust that each other will act peacefully. We will act in a manner that we will not cheat, harm, take advantage of another or act in any manner that formulates a sense of exclusion or superiority to another. That is the reality of peace, the courageous work that needs to be done and the efforts of each day we are all responsible in accomplishing.

Profits before peace

There is little need to delve into understanding why we do not have peace in the world. We have been given the best example of why in the actions of such corporations such as Bell Canada Enterprises when they applied for Covid Relief.

My experiences have shown me that actions being legal, just, right, acceptable, and, moral, will become debatable when balanced with what is peaceful. For example, just today I learned that the large corporations such as Bell Canada, Rogers, Imperial Oil and most likely others, have taken millions of dollars for Covid relief when they never needed it. The level of greed is absolutely disgusting. The sense of entitlement is equally disgusting. Even though legal, in my mind there is no way it was peaceful. It is these actions that really erode peace.

As people are losing their businesses, families, jobs and, sanity, there should be a sense of commonality. However, there are always those that will belly up to the trough to suck out every cent to get their piece of the pie. Why not just take three dollars out of every homeless person tin can as you walk by? That is the analogy of exactly what was done.

During times such as these you really see the true nature of people. Those who are greedy, selfish, belligerent, uncaring, etc… stand out against those who work to give, share, assist, heal, etc… These are the moments in life when peaceful actions matter most. The acts of paying forward are most felt in times such as these.

As governments struggle to manage shrinking economies, massive grief, uncertainty and a sense of calm, there are those that are putting their lives on the line to hold society together. Then we have to endure the arseholishness of those who act without any sense of empathy.

The break down of community is easy to accomplish when profits come before peace.