How to get warring factions to talk it out is a rabbit hole
of peace. There are questions as to who is doing the invite, where are the
talks being held, who is being invited, who will pay for the cost of these
talks, why not let the war play out on its own and, there are even more
questions as the topic/impact ripples in all directions.
When a discussion is actually agreed to be had, the next
issue is what is going to be discussed. Not as easy as it sounds. Some will only
talk with the mediator (shuttle diplomacy). Others will only talk about certain
points such as, borders, why the other sides are the problem and we are the victims,
why are these people at the table and not these people, the list of topics can
get as simple as the menu for breakfast.
This leads to the saying “if you are not at the table, you
are on the menu”. That saying is a cause of many problems and is also a source
to understand the scope of peacebuilding. Peace is about everyone and everyone deserves
a voice at the table. Many will stop peace building because of the
impossibility they attach to such a concept.
One item of peace is to detach from the impossibility of
peace and be comfortable with a certain unknown reality that is to be built. The
reason we are at war is because we did not want to do the work of peace before.
That is the absolute truth of it.
Now we have to acknowledge the failures we made and move
together. It is easier said than done. We are often got up in the bravado of
not losing face, of not showing weakness, of not fighting for a just cause and
the cliches will go on. The unknown of peace starts with getting past your own
shit first so that you are willing and able to allow the possibility of peace.
You have to be open to peace, even when you may not understand what it will be.
If you get to that point of understanding a possible peace,
the question of “what next” will follow along naturally.