Peace and conflict

Often I find it quite amusing that I focus on areas of violent conflict and yet I work in the area of peace. Sometimes I wonder if there is any improvement. Now there are times when I say that there has been great improvement. Plus the academic results suggest that we live in a more peaceful world.

We do have to recognize that we are coming out of the most deadly century known to us. Two world wars, El Salvador, Zaire/Congo, Cold war, Korea, Cambodia, Vietnam, Afghanistan twice, Rwanda, Columbia, Indonesia, Kashmir, Yugoslavia and the list goes on.  Being a more peaceful time was not all that difficult considering the non-stop fighting we have just come out of.

One of the elements that sparks many of these wars is the desire for change in leadership.  I know that is a simple cause to state but it is a reality. The buzz phrase is “regime change”, which has a certain identity of corruption, brutality and violence attached to it. Of course the reality is that even in the most peaceful country an election can bring regime change.

In the grand idea of unity, we are all striving to live in a country where regime change is done peacefully. It is difficult to think of anyone that would want to live in a country where you are oppressed, fearful and living with violence every day.  However for many that is exactly what life is like the entire time they are alive.

It is odd that the average person is a very peaceful being yet we have the governments they elect being very violent. For example the RUSA, most people in this country are very peaceful so you wonder how can their government be so violent? Where is the disconnect? We can see the same thing in Israel and Palestine, the average person is against the use of violence, yet it has been a constant part of life since 1948.

At some point there is a major disconnect between the people and the leadership of this world. We spend more energy on killing each other than we do on helping it seems. Many governments are willing to engage in violent wars with no thought of an end strategy other than kill as many as possible. When it comes to peace efforts most leaders bark about the cost, it takes too long, it is messy, it is not done right and/or it is too complex. Such thinking just leaves me in a spiral of futility.

As I sit back and relax I realize that there is no need to worry about when our tasks will be finished. That day will come for each of us when we die, but the task will still need to be worked upon. It is the legacy of peace that is left for others. We are all human and we all deserve an equal opportunity to live a peaceful life. So with that I sense that being closed minded means you just found the edge of understanding, the frustration you feel is telling you to expand your understanding of life and others.

A persons’ choice is their own

The use of religion as a societal foundation is a landmine of issues. On a parallel of ideology democracy is a form of religion as well. As a peace worker I have to understand that a persons’ choice is their own. No one has control over that choice any more than someone can force another person to enjoy eating sand.

In that understanding, when a group of people tell another group of people that they must follow a certain religion for their own good, right from the start that demand is flawed. Now this demand to follow a certain religion goes for politics and economics as well. Going back a few years there was the issue of the newspaper that published the drawing of an Islamic figure. That event set off like a bomb in a toilet pit.

In reality the person that made the drawing was not Islamic. That person is not bound by Islamic laws any more than a person from Paraguay is bound by Moldovan law. As for respect, well when idiocy is factored in, respect is to stand back and say, “Many images of god and prophets have been made over the years, what is one more ”. Going further, what is more disrespectful than forcing others to follow a set of rules that they do not belong to or believe in? This is where life gets really tricky because in order for peace to be achieved there has to be mutual understanding.

A peaceful society where mutual understanding exists has elements of respect and trust. Now for all the complexity the world has the mutual understanding is very simple. For me the understanding is that I am not to be feared for any reason and I ask that of everyone else I encounter. That is the root of my religion and the foundation of any society in which I work to rebuild.

Expanding that foundation of no cause for fear thought, I do realize that operating in such a manner brings a perception of weakness. This perception is a very strong element of our global society today. Gang violence, warlords, bullying, arseholes and governments use fear to control people. Ruling by fear is very much a “live by the sword die by the sword” method.

Now before anyone gets too simplistic here, not all use of fear is bad. For example, most places have laws for not wearing seatbelts when operating a vehicle. The rationale is that if you are caught you pay a fine. No one wanted to pay the fine so they started to wear the seatbelts. The same with drunk driving or texting when driving. Obviously the fear of causing an accident was not great enough on its own so government (you and me that is) decided to punish those that are caught engaging in such activity, thus the fear of being caught and punished. So there is the upside to the use of fear.

It is a tangled world we live in. Religion is just one method of governance/control we invented to maintain order. There are some that get out of control and take life to the extreme. These people will preach peace and the word of god, then shoot you for thinking differently. To be flat out honest we are all part of it. Everyone of us contributes to the slavery of societal ideology and yet we all think we are free.

Example, take any group of people and ask them what they would do if they won the lottery. I bet you will get the same answer from 98% of the people- house, car, vacations. That is mental prison right there, yet most would believe they freely made those choices. If it were truly free why is it that almost everyone has the same dream of material ownership? Then of course the charities will come into mind just to ease the guilt of looking bad.

Perhaps I am discounting the impact of collective thought projection? Who knows, all I can say is that peace is a very difficult state of being to maintain. However it is a great deal more fun to be trusted as a peaceful person than feared. Once again, it is a choice how/who you wish to be.

Syria and holistic approach to peace

First off I want to thank everyone that has visited this site. I hope I have been helpful or at least entertaining enough to gain further attention.

The holistic approach to peace is the foundation of my thoughts. The holistic approach is best understood in the cliché, “be the change you wish to see”. It can also be described as the waves caused by a single drop in calm waters. That single drop is the individual and the impact reverberates throughout your surroundings.  On a more complex definition or maybe more clear, the issues in your life that cause frustration for you will reflect the changes you wish to make to yourself and the world. As you look at any situation, be it in your relationships or how you view events in Syria, Columbia, Sri Lanka, RUSA, Russia or Canada. The problems you wish to change reflect changes you wish to make in your own life on a personal level.

For me, I have been involved in many violent situations. Due to those experiences, I have grown very frustrated at such actions. That is why I am focused on such places as Syria because the violence was/is avoidable. Again there is a cliché that states, “no one dislikes war more than the warrior”. However, most warriors only have a few methods of dealing with their opposition. Add to that the psychology of leaders that wish to be seen as strong warriors yet have little experience of war, the current leader of Syria fits that definition.

I have no idea what the personal issues are for the current leader of Syria. I am sure this uprising is seen as a personal challenge. The current leader in Syria for some reason has decided to use extreme measures to supress the challenge of his authority. There are reports that he sees this uprising as a push to change the religious composition of Syria. There are also reports of a proxy war between Russia, Iran, RUSA, Israel and all the underpinnings of those relations.

For most of us we are outside looking in. There are very few reports on the ground but news is getting out to the mainstream media. Even though there are few reports we all know the situation is getting worse. It has come to a point where Russia had to make a personal visit to this country. This visit may be seen in a number of ways.

It may be seen as support for the current leader of Syria but it may also be a show of warning. We have no information as to what the conversations were like other than the media reports. In one report the Russian delegation made it known that international force was going to be used if Syria does not resolve this issue soon.  

We can not ignore the issue of sovereignty. In stark contrast though, if Canada ever has to deal with such an internal problem at this level, I hope to god the United Nations would send in a peacekeeping force to help settle the violence. I personally do not see the presence of such a force as a threat to sovereignty. I see it more as a group of friends coming in to help put things back in order. Others may not see it as that but then again I see no reason to fear a peacekeeping force.

Also in comparison to Syria we can look at Egypt, similar challenge and similar reaction. To some degree the people and the government forces in Egypt realized the uselessness of violence. They are still waging a battle but at least there is a modicum of civility.

Going back the issue of sovereignty. Look at the case of Britian and Ireland. For years these two waged a brutal civil war and yet no one even thought the need for a UN peacekeeping force would or should be deployed. For more examples we can look at Tibet in China, Chechnya in Russia, drug war in Mexico where in each case thousands have been killed as well. The international community steps back from these cases because of sovereignty.

Even more perplexing is how the UN Security Council did not prevent the war between Britain and Argentina in the Falkland Islands? This war was in direct conflict with all articles of the UN Charter that relate to the use of force. That is another issue.

Back to the holistic approach, we can see the struggle for power being played out in the streets of Syria and how that relates to the leaders. Next we can see the struggles for unity in the UN Security Council as well as fingers point blame and each country saying that it the other side that is causing all this. Same argument, different sphere and that is the ripple effect of holistic understanding.

Oh and if anyone wishes to look up the Peacekeeping Missions of the United Nations, here is a link.

http://www.un.org/en/sc/repertoire/subsidiary_organs/peacekeeping_missions.shtml

Duality of Responsibility

“The duality of responsibility we have” is a phrase that circled in my thoughts for many years. At that time in my life I had no idea it was even a subject of thought for old dead white guys (the usual philosophers).  As I moved through life I found out that most of them touched on this subject in many ways.  A few popular themes are conscience and sub-conscience, life and death. Machiavelli dealt with business life and home life, although most only focus on his point of “the ends justify the means, business at all cost” philosophy. The manner in which I think about duality is the responsibility to the self and the responsibility to society.

Within that framework I look at myself and the world, just so I can keep things in order to find a way through chaos. This is my method. You most likely have a different one. It would be a boring world if we did all think alike. Although I do wish that people did not suffer because of our differences of ideology. Within this method there are the struggles where self- preservation is in opposition to society.

Ghandi met that duality with starvation. People who put their lives on the line to ensure the safety of others are acts that take place every day around the world, these are the acts of martyrs, intended or not. The thought process of doing something to improve society at the cost of the self is the conflict of dual responsibility, eg., Mohamed Bouazizi.

Take any warlord and you will see self-preservation at the cost of society. Although they speak to the protection of society because they know that is the treasure of power. We can look at the situations in Syria and see both sides speaking to the needs of society. We can look at the United Nations Security Council and see each side making arguments for society. These are the leaders speaking. The people on the street also speak of society yet they also speak about their own lives.

If the question is asked, “why protest” the answer is usually, “We are tired of the corruption, insecurity, no jobs, no choice, no voice and what future is that? The desires of the self, met with the desires of the society.  

We can see self-preservation in the acts of countries as well. The RUSA is an easy target for such acts, just about every war they have started since 1962 has been about self-preservation. Israel is constantly barking about self-preservation.  

This method of understanding the world is helpful to see what the goals are of those that you face. Is the person or people out to ensure their own purpose or are they seeking to ensure the purpose of everyone. Even within that we have those that act with serious intent to secure the safety of society, but do so in a harmful manner, for example Hitler or a serial killer that preys on people they deem harmful.

At some point there will be a choice between yourself and society. People who choose to take public transit for example to help lower pollution are acting in benefit of society, buying fair trade products, recycling, donating to charities and other acts.

At the end of it all, this helps me sort through the garbage. I can listen to the words of others as they speak to helping society and then balancing that with how those words reflect the personal benefits. Just like the sales pitch we got from mobile phone companies, “buy these because in case of an emergency you can reach someone.” All of a sudden that emergency has now become, “Oh my god, what restaurant/bar are you at?” We sold out to the advertising campaign founded on safety but in reality it was to make a dollar. That example has more to it than the duality of responsibility though, a good idea gone to hell because of sell outs and suckers.

Going through the debate on duality of responsibility helps me see what my motivations are. I can ask why I have a desire to act in one way. I can understand if it is self-preservation or not. Perhaps I am not sure, which tells me I need to get clear, otherwise a huge mess is about to unfold. When that happens the task of peace just explodes.

Controlling emotions, Part two

The subject matter of my last article was about controlling emotions when dealing with other people. Having the knowledge to do such is a valuable element to keeping situations peaceful. As I think about what I wrote there is another element that is very important. That element is often the basis when a relationship fails and the words “it is not you it is me” are used.

There is a great deal of truth in those words. Sometime you just do not see a happy life and you now in your heart that something must change. Perhaps there have been times when you are no longer able to trust another person. The amazing part of this is that how you feel and what you think can be two opposing forces. You really do care for the other person but you know that you are in need of a change. The result is a conflict of being. How does a person manage that?

The crazy part is that the feelings of joy during initial courtship with the “love of your life” are the same as the feelings you have when you go through a breakup. The only difference is the circumstance and perception. The butterflies in the stomach turn into a gnawing worrying, the euphoric light head is now a heavy weight of sorrow and the constant smile is now a frown. These are signs of change and how you perceive that change will determine the label you give to them.

When you fall in love you are full of confidence, beauty, and joy. When breaking up it is the opposite. To manage these elements of life you may have to take leaps of faith. For example, some people say you do not choose who you love. That can be true if you want it to be. If you want to control your life then you need to be able to control who you love. Here we often confuse love with attraction. I have met a great deal of women that I have felt a very strong attraction to. In those circumstances a relationship was possible yet, the choice was made clear in my mind, engage in that attraction or not.

The feelings are always present in such moments and it is easy to be swept up in those times. This is the first step of choice. As with a breakup, it is a choice. Make that choice and be confident in that choice. Embrace that choice. When the feeling in the pit of your stomach ignites realize that is just change and see it as a positive force. That pit in your stomach is a butterfly, let it tickle you. Your feelings are there to provide information to you. There is no good or bad to them just straight forward information that there is something going on.

What if you were the one that was “dumped” and told the relationship is over? In that case, be prepared for the rage, destruction and revenge that you will have a strong desire to let loose.  This energy has to be dealt with in some manner. In some cases this is the cause of a great many junk food binges, fights, drunken idiocy, endless tears,smashed property, broken bones, and jail terms.

Rejection is something that we have great difficulty with, for obvious reasons, no one likes it. Rejection is forced upon us, usually it is not preferred. The element of significance is the major hit to self-esteem, it sucks the love of life right out of you. Get it? There lies the issue, love has been taken away and change is forced upon you.

Of all the shit I have gone through this is one of the hardest to deal with. All the ice cream, beer, chocolate, fighting and thoughts of revenge will have to be taken in strides. At some point you will have to come to terms with the reality that some things are not your choice. You did not choose to be alive (well maybe we do and just forget) but you certainly did not want this to happen, but it did. Somehow, someway you have to celebrate the experiences of life, this is one experience of many.

When the feelings of hurt come on strong, breathe deep. Thank yourself for getting through it and visualize a celebration of success. Drinking 24 bottles of beer or eating a tub of ice cream does not count, although I am sure it has been accomplished. This is all about getting back up and being a more intelligent, experienced and changed you.

In the moments when you feel the most pain, ask yourself why you are feeling that way. That sounds stupid because you know why, but focus on the question, is this doing any good. Hopefully you answer no and then you can seek to change that perception of pain. If you answered yes you have a great deal more work to stop the self-destruction.

Getting up from rejection is mostly dealing with controlling life. It takes a great deal of energy to get back up. It takes energy to self-destruct as well, gain control of that decision as quickly as possible. I plead everyone to choose rebuilding over destruction.

Finally after sometime the emotions of attachment will fade concerning that situation. What will remain is the reality of life. Those feelings may be felt again as you fall in love once more. The next time you do think of how both the feelings are the same. I can not promise it will make life easier but at least you may have more information to deal with it.

Good luck.

A way Out

Life is fraught with challenges and chaos. During such times it can be difficult to see purpose or as most people ask “a way out”. Now for all the peace and knowledge I have, it is a reality that there is a different route for each person to find that way out. However, we are all human and there are some commonalities that occur.

For me, the way out is to find what my heart and mind understand as good. Doing this allows me to laugh easier, smile more and take the many hits that life will throw at any time. Sometimes the good is not easy to see and I have questioned if it is there. Just because I do not understand does not mean good is absent. All it means is, I need to look further or the search has no meaning to me.

Knowing when to stop searching is a vital component to life. In life there is death and death is not as ugly as we make it out to be. How death arrives can be very ugly. A marriage going through a divorce is one of the ugliest deaths two people can go through. A country separating, governments falling and banking systems collapsing are all deaths that we go through.

In each case peace will be put to the test. In a marriage there can be the moments of infidelity. In the other cases there are moments of oppression and constraint. With each case there is a loss of trust between or amongst people involved. We often ask ourselves, “What is the purpose of this relationship?” “Why does this have to be so difficult?”

The purpose and the difficulty are entangled together in the same answer. The answer is we are alive and it is our choice. Now the answer goes a great deal deeper because we have limits within ourselves but at the very first step we must deal with reality.

We are alive and it is our choice to care. What you care about will always bring difficulties. These difficulties are steps and with each step you will encounter more difficulties. In the run of life you will misjudge a number of times, perhaps fight challenges where you should not have, let go of things that you should have kept, but these are all part of life. In life you will make mistakes, you just hope your friends really know who you are and can see that in their heart.

Sometimes that is not possible and life just got more difficult as you deal with the pain of mistrust. In these times it is often when a person needs new information. If no new information is obtained, that person will use the same knowledge to get through the difficulties as they have in the past. Doing the same things is getting back on the hamster wheel with no real progress. For example, a broken marriage may lead a person to have an affair, protests lead a government to shoot its own people, ailing banks to close on loans, corporations to cut jobs and a host of other typical acts.  None of these acts are all the helpful as they often do more damage and make matters worse. However they are popular methods of dealing with difficulties as we seek a way out.

As we seek a way out, the source of the challenge holds many answers.

Need more options

Most people would say that they are good at dealing with difficulties in life. It has been my experience that most people are very poor at dealing with difficulties. I am not saying that people will not get through difficulties because they do. What I am saying is that people could get through difficulties with a great more skill and ease if they spent the time to learn how.

The last article I wrote concerning transformative peace points to the poor record of the court system to deal with societal difficulties. Due to this poor performance, the larger society is left with unresolved issues. Yet the law system is a foundational part of dealing with wrongs in society. It has come to the point where people often go to lawyers at the first sign of trouble.Because of that we have a large profession believing it is doing a great job of managing the wrongs of society. 

What is often missed in the reasoning for why we have a court system, is the fact that we have only had these court systems for short periods of time. In the times before the courts, human relationships existed and dealt with all the same issues we have today. Before the court systems we had many forms of "ceremonies" to deal with community issues.  I suggest everyone to read, "The Human Potential for Peace: An Anthropological challenge to assumptions about war and violence" written by Douglas P. Fry. Oxford University Press 2006. 

Now, I can hear the opposition speaking about the barbaric treatment of people, which the court systems are there to end. Well I will conceded that there were such acts before courts existed, yet the court system still has its share of barbaric acts. Just ask some of the people that went through Guantanamo Bay jail, or visit the jails in Uganda, Sierra Leone, you can even look at the number of mentally ill people executed in the RUSA.  All of these systems employ similar styles of dealing with people that are deemed a hazard to society.

As we build societies that have been destroyed, often there are programs such as Truth and Reconciliation Commissions. These programs are used only for a short period of time and then abandoned. It is a wonder why such a useful element of healing is not continued to assist with other issues in society.

Having one method of managing difficulties is best described with a popular saying;

When the only tool you have is a hammer every problem is seen as a nail.

Dealing with issues within our lives, we need as many ways as possible to address them. In a caring society we would offer such support. We allow for the healing process to take hold as people sort out what the deep issues are. At the moment we can look at Egypt and Syria as examples where the people were given small moments of reprieve only to be thrust back to a point similar to the one where it all started. The entire process has to be re-engaged. Instead of listening, learning, accepting and adapting, one side dug in with a firm stance of “this is the only system we have, if you do not like it – die”

A caring leader would see the futility in such a narrow view. For humanity sake we must give options. We must also see the need for order and at times people do get caught up in emotions. I can not think of any country that has not had protesters marching in large numbers. Such events are fraught with emotion and chaos is always near. However if many methods of managing the protesters are employed the greater the chances of the protest being a peaceful one overall.

When something really matters to you, you will be hurt because you care. Your heart will get hurt but the fact that you care should allow you to realize the need for peace, options, patience and understanding. People protest, march, yell and scream because it is all part of letting off the pressure of emotions. Protesting  lets the world know they care. All that is needed in return is the intelligence to listen, learn, understand and adapt.

Learn

Getting through the situations where conflict is destructive to relationships takes a great deal of effort.  Most of us have gone through a breakup and it is rarely experienced without feelings of pain and anger. Managing those feelings becomes more difficult when one side understands the need to manage while the other side does not or has no intentions of doing so. To use a popular phrase, this is when the gloves may come off.

It takes a great amount of effort to act peacefully. We are all capable of acting peacefully.  Acting peacefully means we must be willing to learn, understand and adapt. Learning is our greatest capacity. Having the will to learn includes understanding, listening and acting peacefully in the face of what is perceived as idiocy. Getting through difficult situations and actually engaging in the process of learning is another matter.  

Along side learning, the partner is commitment. Peace is a commitment to ensuring a the best possible solution for everyone.  Within that there is an understanding that you can not have all that you ask for but at least you will walk away as satisfied as possible.  Sometimes just being able to walk away is all that you can hope for.

For the most part talking is our primary form of communication.  Even though actions speak louder than words, the pen being mighter than the sword and pictures say a thousand words, speech is the common medium for sharing ideas and comunication.

In times of chaos when confusion, doubt, uncertainty and fear are all present, peace is often a dream.  At that point the smallest piece of order makes all the difference.  Just getting some order in your own mind concering what to do is the best place to start.  As you go about setting that order you set the agenda of priorities. As you engage in the activity of setting order, you are learning more about the situation.  The difficult part is to not get caught up in the frustration of chaos.  This is where commitment is most needed.

Learning has its share of set backs as well.  You may learn many ways of how not to do something, yet each step will provide information to build upon. At some point you may hit upon the fact that your vision is not shared by anyone. You may also learn that no one understand what you are talking about, which is why your vision is not shared. 

Each set back is the place where commitment and adaptation come in as you learn.

How do you help?

Over the past five months I have been helping with a very ugly conflict.  One where truth has been killed so many times that it is difficult for the larger population to even know what to believe.  When sitting at the table I can look both sides in the heart.  I know where the lies began and where the truth stopped, yet the conflict is no longer about what is true or who is wrong.  The conflict now is how to rebuild on a foundation destroyed.

Trust is no longer alive due to fact that there have been too many lies and atrocities.  For one side of this conflict, they are in a situation where even the lives of those in harms way are not thought of.  It is a continual fight to ensure that their story is the story everyone will trust.  How do you go about that when that story is false? How do you help when the foundation of knowledge is flawed?

As in all conflict, it begins and ends in the mind.  We fight each other because we believe.  How do you help in a situation where there is a broken psyche, paranoia, and the only way out is to ensure the people that are closest feel equal or more pain?

The society is torn apart, the current leader is bent on revenge at all cost.  Removing the leader may seem simple.  However there is enough support that doing so will cause a great amount of harm.  “Do no harm”, is a popular phrase in the world of peace and conflict.  Yet when cancer spreads the short term harm may indeed save the entire person. 

There are many options. One option is to allow the situation to continue and we do what we can to help the people as the current leader plays out their time.  At the moment it seems that is what is going to happen in Syria, Bahrain, Yemen – the list goes on.

There is no greater sorrow in my heart or in my mind than the moments where trust in others has been destroyed.  To be harmed by a person you had trusted is a moment of such great pain that death can be welcome thought.   Each time I encounter such an experience it is never easier.  The only positive is that I know I have gotten through it before, I hope I will again.

The people that are lost and will be lost are thought of daily.  I wish them a peaceful after life.  For those that are saved I hope they carry with them the knowledge that peace is better than war.  There is no peace when the use of fear, violence, destruction, torture and deceit are used to gain. 

Strength to resolve matters peacefully

Having lived in many areas of chaos, I am positive that most people are peaceful. In turn, the larger part of society, is peaceful as well.  It is quite an odd situation while being a guest in a stranger’s home in a war zone.  The subject of the war is obviously discussed.  The reality soon hits you that most people have a strong understanding of peace.  However, you can hear the war rage on outside.  Then the question comes; how did this all get so ugly?

From that question alone the war will begin as the people recall the injustices set upon them.  This is called “stacking bodies”, the part where people begin to list all the injuries they have incurred.  Engaging in this activity is the method to prove how one side is the enemy.  Such tactics are rarely helpful in resolving a conflict.  Continually pointing out the injustices keeps you rooted in the mindset of revenge and being treated unfairly.  To get to the point of resolving any conflict you have to be able to do two things.

First you have to truly understand your part through accepting the others view point. You do not have to agree with their view point but there is no way you can change that view point.  Second you have to see past the committed injustices.  Again, you do not have to forget about the injustices but you do have to be able to accept that nothing can change those events.  Both of these items are simple yet they are difficult to enact.

Often we see these two items as a large part of being weak or giving in.  These views are a hindrance for most peace workers as it takes more strength, effort, intelligence and will power to engage in such a manner than it does to kill.  However there are times when killing is the only option, unless you want to die yourself.  World War Two, stopping Hitler stands as one example when killing was the only option.

Getting back to the methods needed for resolving conflict, the best tools we have is the ability to learn, educate and adapt.  We must have the capacity to understand that each and every one of us has a desire to improve upon themselves.  As we go about our lives we see others and we notice how others live.  In turn we see the parts of our own selves in these people that we wish we had.  We see in others the qualities that we know and want to improve upon.  If that person is in your daily life, the change that you wish to improve upon will become an irritant and you will develop a dislike for that person.  This is a popular theory of Carl Jung and it holds a great amount of truth.  This is on an individual level, not so sure it holds true on a societal level.  However the methods of dealing with conflict are transferable from individual to society and into international relations.

With the case of Syria, the government has given a great deal of attention to killing and very little to discussion.  We can be assured that the methods of killing will continue.  The Arab Council tried to force the discussion method by sending in Observers, that failed.  The United Nations Security Council (UNSC) is again looking at intervention.  Economic Sanctions, strongly worded resolutions and a litany of press releases will most likely be the result if the UNSC takes action.  All the while the government will continue to crush its own people, at a slower pace perhaps. The killing will continue until morale improves in Syria.  It will continue at a pace slow enough for the appearance of peace and discussion.  Which brings in the world of optics, spin and bullshit.

All because some people do not have the strength to resolve matters peacefully.

Reality of friendship

In the realm of peace there comes a moment in the lives of people where a decision has to be made to sacrifice.  On a personal level, in the chaos of war, sacrifice maybe your life for the protection of your friends.  These sacrifices are the foundations of why soldiers become so close to each other.   To experience, know and believe that your friends will go to such lengths, as you would do the same for them, is a very humbling state of mind.  Using that understanding we can gauge the situation in which the world is in.  The question being: is there any country that would defend another to the point of certain death?

The short answer is no.  That level of friendship does not exist in the world of international politics.  Some may point to the actions taken in Iraq and Afghanistan.  Those wars were not about defending a friend; they were about self-preservation at the cost of your friend.  Iraq is in a far worse state than before the war. Afghanistan is no better today compared to what life was like fifteen years ago.  To be honest, at no time were the countries involved ever in grave danger. 

Now the argument is made that soldiers died and that is an indication of our sacrifice.  I have lost many friends due to war and I can tell you that most people in Canada do not know or understand such a cost.    Our soldiers died and we honour that sacrifice because they were in harm’s way, our country was never at harm.  I recall one particular media personality saying in 2007 that Canada has not been at war since 1945. Life continued on as much in the same manner in 2011 as it did in the past forty or so years.

At this moment I can hear a litany of opposition saying, how dare you say such a thing?  Vicarious feelings and crocodile tears are what those people offer.  The hypocrisy of mentality today is solidified in the minds of people.  They will talk of dedication of friendship as a BFF which may only last a year, all the while forgetting that the last F is forever.  A small matter, perhaps yet it is a reality to how far the world has slipped when it comes to true friendship.

This self- attachment to external drama being conveyed as personal experience is bullshit.  Perhaps such a world is too stressful for those people?  Perhaps they are not capable to see the joy of having such deep understanding and commitment? Perhaps the character of today is more fragile?  Whatever it is, I hope it gets resolved so that we can regain our strong sense of what true friendship is all about.

And I do know I am as guilty of such bullshit myself.  I did not play in the World Junior Hockey tournament but I can understand the feelings of Swedish, Russian Canadian and the players for Finland.

Trust

There are few elements of such importance when building a solid relationship as trust.  Trust relates to being dependable,  predictable and honest.  In an environment where you are unsure of what the future brings, no clear vision of how to even start to improve on your situation, such a state is chaos.  Trust in yourself is the first thing that needs to be built up when chaos rules.

At this moment think of all the people or governments that you do not trust and ask why.  Now ask yourself how are you going to live with that reality so you can have trust in them?  Often it leaves you with the reality that you trust that person or country to be untrustworthy or insane.  This is where the old wisdom of "keeping your enemies closer than your friends" comes into play.  The reason for that is because you trust your friends.

Beware of the trap of having enemies at your door for too long.  Doing so, you will eventually forget your friends and become paranoid of all that surrounds you.  However most of us never have to worry about such dangers.

Trust

Trust is the degree of acceptance of something, it is total commitment, and it is having faith and confidence in something. 

 Trust depends on

·         Experience with somebody

·         Background-knowledge about somebody

·         Behavior and character of a person

·         Integrity and social status

·         Religion

·         Culture and

·         Relationship with the person

Conflict resolution information

Conflict often starts from within us internally then it becomes external and its growth more complex when we do not manage it immediately and appropriately. We should always first concentrate on internal resolution of conflict then external management; we should therefore change our PERCEPTION, ATITUDES and BEHAVIOUR, first before we seek to change others.

Most times we choose reactive methods for solving problems (force, arbitration, adjudication, and negotiation) but they only provide short term solutions.  The most effective method for conflict resolution is to use proactive methods (mediation, resolution and transformation) because they are outward looking and address the root causes of conflict.

Many times we say we want peace but we rarely act to work towards peace or we do not know how to achieve it.  To attain peace we should practice active peace.  Active peace is the process of understanding, co-operation, transforming and solving. 

Conflict Management and Resolution Styles  

1) Force: Force is a violent way of conflict management where the view of the other party is accepted by the other one by force (parents and children, teachers and students, boss and an employee etc.)

2) Adjudication: This is where the conflicting parties go to the third party to resolve their problem and abide by the decision of the third party due to his judicial or legal powers.  He can force the two parties to comply with his decision (LCs, police, and court of law).

3) Arbitration: This is whereby the two conflicting parties choose the third party to solve their problems.  They will abide by the decision of the third party because of his social status (religion leaders, community leaders, elders, etc)

4) Negotiation:  This is where no third party is involved; the two parties in conflict tend to work out their differences by themselves. This depends on perceived power or status of the parties; these can work well if the parties have equal power and status.

5) Mediation:  This is a method of conflict resolution where the two parties in conflict are assisted by the third party who is neutral to reach an agreement.  The third party does not judge or censor on behalf of any of the two parties, he only helps them to reach a solution.

6) Resolution:  This is when the two conflicting parties attempt to solve their problems; in such a way that new constructive relationships are built after the problem is resolved.

7) Transformation: This is the highest level of conflict resolution where the two parties involved in conflict choose to build a new and permanent relationship; the decision is taken from the bottom of their hearts and minds. 

Corruption of mind

Every second is a step into the future.  Each step you make, hopefully, is a secure step.  We all seek security and security of soul, mind and body are challenged daily.  In one scope, each child we have is a step into the future.  What are we doing globally.

 “Today youth constitutes not only a sizable population but also a very high percentage of the literate and educated group in most of the developing countries”[1]  Corruption has many elements and the mental element must take place before any other.  In terms of psychology the rational we encounter is one where, “People perpetuating corrupt acts engage in “rationalizing tactics”—describing their actions in such a way that they do not appear to be unethical at all.”[2]  This rationalization allows people to comprehend their actions as normal.  Furthermore, unethical behaviour can be understood as cultural relativism.

Cultural relativism explains certain actions that are okay for some but not for others.  For example female genital cutting is practiced, in some societies human sacrifices were also performed and were accepted.  Each of those examples can be defended as cultural actions based on beliefs.  Within that belief is a mental understanding and acceptance that is learned.  As we progress further into the realm of corruption we can equate cultural relativism to the decision of those that get involved in corruption.  Linking that understanding to corruption, “People who have engaged in corrupt acts excuse their actions to themselves, by viewing their crimes as non-criminal, justified, or part of a situation which they do not control.”[3]

To frame the act of corruption is to say that people engage in it because they are doing what they feel is deserved to themselves.  In some mental calculation the corrupt acts are thought of a justifiable and in fact necessary to achieve a desired outcome that will eventually benefit the whole of society.  This is the same mental process that went through the minds of people who engaged in human sacrifices.

Today the issue of corruption has come to the very top of world news.  People that live in countries where political leaders are being ousted have labeled corruption as a main point of concern.  Tunisia and Egypt have already replaced their leaders and other countries are trying to do the same.  At the core of these revolutions rests the hope for a just society where the youth can foresee a positive future.  There are a number of issues that work in tandem for which the people are rallying against, corruption is one such issue.  

As we have looked at both economic and political corruption there are two methods to combat corruption and that is with education and strong governance.  “Without transparency, accountability and the rule of law, corruption flourishes.”[4]    As we see the many countries around the world fall due to corruption it must be noted that education and governance do not flourish overnight. 

“Post-conflict development needs to reduce corruption, facilitate effective governance and promote environmentally sound, socially equitable, economically robust sustainable development that requires re-evaluation of the appropriateness of the existing policies, strategies, legal and regulatory frameworks and institutional arrangements, and adjust accordingly.”[5]

“In Tunisia, Egypt, Jordan, Syria, Algeria and Yemen, the violent demonstrations are largely driven by the stifled generation of the Arab baby boom: 100 million young people 15 to 29 years old who make up 30 per cent of the Middle East's population.  Their hopes and ambitions have been frustrated by corruption, high unemployment, lack of political freedom, soaring costs of living and growing income inequality – and their leaders have been unable and unwilling to invest in solutions to these problems.”[6]

From the above quotes we learn that the people have lost hope of a better future if things do not change.  “Education is the key component to reconstruction in post-ethnic conflict settings. It is a country’s “single most important social, economic and political resource. Schools educate youth for future employment, socialize children to ensure integration and active involvement in their communities, prepare them for productive participation as a citizen in their country and transmit those values and beliefs deemed to be important by their society”[7]

In order to have societies where violence is rare we need to support youth empowerment “inclusion in development by expanding the capacities of and opportunities for youth groups to initiate and participate in community and local development initiatives.”[8]

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[1] Gale, Faye and Stephanie Fahey (editors).  Youth In Transition.  UNESCO, Bangkok. 2005. Pg., 13

[2] Anand, Vikas, Blake E. Ashforth and Mahendra Joshi.  Business as usual: The acceptance and perpetuation of corruption in organizations.  Academy of Management Executive, 2005, Vol. 19, No. 4.  Pg., 10.

[3] Anand, Vikas, Blake E. Ashforth and Mahendra Joshi.  Business as usual: The acceptance and perpetuation of corruption in organizations.  Academy of Management Executive, 2005, Vol. 19, No. 4.  Pg., 10.

[4] Ghani, Seema.  An Accountable State with Strong Civil Society.  Development Outreach, World Bank Vol. 11 No. 2, Oct 2009.    Pg., 43.

[5] Edited by Ghimire, Safal, Bishnu Raj Upreti, Sagar Raj Sharma and kailash Nath Pyakuryal. The Remake of a State: Post-Conflict challenges and State Building in Nepal. NCCR North-South, Human and Natural Resources Studies Centre, Katmandu University. 2010. pg. 131.

[6] Ghafour, Hamida.  Enough! Why thousands of young Arabs have taken to the streets in protest.  The Globe And Mail, Jan. 28, 2011.

[7] Coles, Emily, "The Importance of Education Systems in Post-Conflict Settings: The Case of Bosnia-Herzegovina (BiH)" (2011).

Honors Projects. Paper 10.

[8] Barron, Patrick.  Community Driven Development in Post-Conflict and Conflict-affected Areara.  2011 World Development Report.  March 2011.  Pg. 8.

Society and the individual

Society is or can be a reflection of each individual within that society.  The same can be said of all types of relationships that we belong to, such as a team, organization, family, marriage, friendships and so on.  As I think about those connections, the mind spins into many realms of being or belonging.  Who do I choose to be with and belong to? Then I asked why do I choose those relationships?

What is the most important relationship in your life?  I figured that question had to be answered first.  The answer came rather quickly and the most important relationship I have is with my own self.  No one will ever know me as fully as I know myself.  In some ways I feel that is a great loss but it is a reality (anyway that is a side bar thought)

In the time I have spent in peace work, psychology has proven to be a major element of understanding peace.  Societal peace, inner peace and peace with the environment have all been intertwined.  Mostly though when dealing with violent conflict the focus is split between inner peace and societal peace.

Being from Canada I have the luxury of being able to go home to a peaceful country and live where ever I please.  Not so for many of the people I have lived with.  That luxury is not a reality for many and to be honest it has caused a great deal of pain for me to reconcile with.  It has often been thrown in my face without sugar coating.

 “We live here, this is our homeland, where else do we go, we can not leave.” 

Each of those statements stir many memories and emotions as I think about the people that said them.  These people choose to stay in that place because of their attachment, they belong there.  No matter how hellish life gets they will not give up, why?

The only answer I feel is worth repeating is that these people believe in the future of a peaceful day.  It is that singular piece of mindset that has enabled me to work at bringing peace to anywhere I have worked.  There has to be hope in a future that is peaceful.  Even as I think about all the relationships that an average person here in Canada has, they too must make similar decisions as to whether or not a relationship continues. 

As I sit here writing this the economy is in dire condition.  Then I think about all of what I just wrote and I know that the economy will boom again someday.  Think the economy is bad now, imagine what is what like here in Canada during the thirteen hundreds?  Wonder if they even cared?